One day my son told me, “Mom, why do you look like a Panda?” Good question, being that I am a writing Mom, it could have something to do with Google…
This morning Google Panda went with her kids to playschool then…
…she went to the supermarket to buy some apples. The sign said “fresh Granny Smith, yum yum!” but in the basket Google Panda found rotten figs.
“Hmpfh”, Google Panda thought and crossed out the apples from her list. “I’ll just go check in the grocery across the street; they claim “Granny Smith Yum Yum!” as well…”
As Google Panda crossed the street she met her friend Mrs. Reevyou who told her the latest news from the neighborhood. Mrs. Reevyou also informed Google Panda about a new store for flip flops and ensured that they were the best.
Google Panda did not need new flip flops but as she saw that Mrs. Reevyou’s advice was candid and original she gently made a mental note and walked on.
As she turned the corner of her street, Google Panda heard a terrible noise. 30 youngsters were running up and down the stairs of each apartment building placing notes on doors and banisters. They were also shouting “Hello friends, we’ve got personal notes for you, you are so nice and we love you.” Google Panda stood in silence as three youngsters shouted this very same slogan at her and pushed their notes into her purse. Luckily Google Panda has burglar lock on her purse and the notes simply fell to the ground.
Google Panda shook her head, these youngsters did not even care to look her in the eye and she certainly would not include their notes in her purse or life! It reminded her of Spamela A. Lot, a woman who lived in her building and lo and behold here she was and she was heading straight towards Google Panda!
“Google Panda, do I have news for you!” shouted Spamela A. Lot. “There is a new store with the best flip flops!” Google Panda smiled to Spamela and silently whispered “copycat” and then moved up the stairs to her home to tidy up the dishes. As Google Panda was cleaning up the sink she glanced out her kitchen window and nearly fell over by surprise.
On the balcony across her kitchen window she saw at least 50 minks crowded behind the metal bars. In alarm she opened up her window and shouted to her neighbor, “What is this?! Have you opened up a mink farm on your balcony? What a hideous smell and those poor animals are suffering!”
Her neighbor across the yard, Herr Mink Deerectery apologized for the smell and defended himself, “everyone wants minks these days and I need to be wise and put many in one place to get the most out of my clients.”
Google Panda closed her window and decided to get a good ventilator to air out the stench right after she’d call the cops on Herr Mink Deerectery.
She turned around to see to the laundry when she suddenly tripped over a toy left in the living room. Google Panda fell on the floor and there she sat for a while to check that all of her limbs where OK. When she realized that she had only stubbed a toe she crawled over to her phone to call a friend to cheer up a bit and learn something new. With the mink farm across the yard fresh in mind, she was pleased to hear about her friend’s fake mink coats.
“Oh, yes they are gorgeous, and I spend a lot of individual time on each one. You know, we are all people so each coat is customized and cared for. Takes time, I know, I know, but hey, the clients are so happy and they keep coming back to see me!”
Google Panda was already feeling better. These were the kind of minks she liked and she made a note of them at the top of her list!
The rest of the day went by without much drama. Google Panda tidied her house, drank some tea and learned the latest news of the World. When she came to playschool to pick up her kids they asked her, “What did you do today Mommy?”
She smiled her sweet Panda smile, twinkled with her eye and said, “Oh not much, you know the usual, checked on this and that…”
Her panda brood looked at her with smiles “did you make us cake?”
Google Panda took their little paws and ensured them “Yes, I made you cake and only the best one from original ingredients for a healthy long life for all of us!”
And that my friends is the essence of Google Panda. Make sure to treat her nice, original and with the right volume and she will be just as gentle and smiley to you!